He's accepted it

I should accept it too- he has a certain restlessness about him- he can't stay home and be happy 

I need to let him go if I love him and pray he comes back 

When will enough be enough for the hubby?

Some opportunity to be part of heb has come up and he's keen to be part of it- calls it an opportunity. Opportunity for what???????!!!! To spend more time away from the family, be involved in politicking that marks heb work. Sigh. This kind of thing is not volunteerism. For that He can volunteer with some other org- narayana mission for eg. 

Should I talk him out of it? At least with our temple it's okay but heb? 

Ruminations on god

So... What I've always believed

God is all powerful all seeing all knowing 

He speaks to us we just need to listen to him and be led by him

We think of him before we do anything and pray to him he will protect us even from ourselves 

He loves us - so much that his love is everything 

Nothing moves without his power and grace

In him we trust in him we live

We are but his instruments - that is the sum of our desires 

We are all aspiring to reach him through our love and actions 

The soul is eternal 

Our children are his gifts 

We thank him everyday for everything

He knows what happens before it happens

We ask him to be there before us in everything 

Given all this - it shouldn't and doesn't matter the names we give god

It is pointless to fight over the supremacy of Vishnu Krishna Siva pillayar murugan / they are but facets if the eternal being who watches over us. I love them all. I feel profound affection for god in the form of pillayar for I grew up with him. It is comical to fret over loyalties to pillayar as I read about Krishna because they are all one! 

Missing plane

Last sat a Malaysian airlines plane vanished from the skies 

It took off at 1.30 am and disappeared off the radar at 2.20 am

No signs yet where it may be / no wreckage in sea or on land 

Theories abound - suggestions that it changed route 

Nothing like this has happened before

Now pm giving a press conference- waist hijacking? Is it possible passengers are alive? 

Let's see 

Updated a month later- still no sign of the plane but possible area where it went down has been identified- remote part of Indian ocean. Still waiting to find out how and why it went there- totally opposite direction from china! 

Thoughts on the Mahabharata

JFirstly - this is an epic- a great epic but not revered - because, like Shakespeare - it presents human characters with human flaws aplenty 

Secondly I must remember- one form of human injustice has continued on till now and women's rights were only recognized in the 20th century! That's 2000 years after Christ! And these epics were written 1000 years before Christ! 

So i can forgive the pathetic attitude towards women 

Having said that here are some things that irk me about it: 

1. Women are prizes to be won. 

2. They have very little say in their lives - who they marry for eg. 

3. Considered holy to die together with husband 

4. Arjuna goes on travels for a year on self exile- sounds more like a holiday to me! He marries girl after girl along the way! When they get pregnant he moves on! 

Other things;

Is it ok to want to be king? To fight to be king? 

One thing I think I can see through : this book is by someone from the Krishna consciousness movement- there is some element of hardsell here and there I feel. ESP where the good characters aren't so good and bad characters aren't so bad- these bits are glossed over or over presented to convey the writers point of view and agenda. Like the famous line about draupadi cursing the kaurivas graphically is not here. Yudhistra's gambling is not presented as a weakness but as a way of honoring the king who invited him to play. Karna is said to prefer fame to life. All fishy! Makese want to read more though! See diff presentations 

Sleeping alone

I am so used to sleeping with someone in my room - feel a strange emptiness as I go to sleep now alone. Well not quite alone - even now baby aish sleeps with me. But you know- not the same! I used to sleep alone with ashwin Saro with akshaya - made me miserable. This time didn't feel so bad coz akshaya sleeps with me and aish - only ash with Saro., 

Still. Ashwin and I feel a tug every bedtime. We both miss cuddling with each other to sleep!