kaavya's 2nd birthday

my thoughts

our theme was much richer than theirs. 

theirs injustice simple. 

ours is complex multilayered deep

am I hopelessly biased ? 

I find Michelle's speaking stilted 

I find the interview by shakila and dge fake too. their angling was strange. hardly looking at us 

what super inspiring idea can we pick up from this conference? 

I shall watch JJ'a and blau's session but that's about it. 

lit symp 2020

this year's symposium was good. different but good. 

all online 

half a day instead of full day 

bonus we had prof blau 

some drama and fights and all but now okay

was nice to have our work affirmed..Many thank yous a and compliments cced to Jeff 

and today Karen said out right ours was much better than Elis's conference 

we also had overwhelming agreement to run a symposium again, in 2022  face to face with some asynchronous video bits. so good to hear this you know. I thought it would die this year but no.  there is value for it still. an so happy. 

now to think who to put in charge of the next one think we can go with the smart new girl joining us haha! 

hugging my kids

what can I say 

I hug my kids 

with some dread in my heart 

knowing well

that children sometimes grow distant from their parents and siblings 

and break their hearts 

and I tell myself to love them now

as they are for who they are

not who they become and how they may drift 

they may not drift of course 

earlier writing

found some lines in an old diary 

I believe the love between parents and children is far more loving, forgiving, and less demanding than the love between spouses. My dad worries about me now, when the husband can make me so happy so easily but refuses. 

I should never give another person the power to make me happy or sad. I am master of my own emotions and feelings, capable of building a fearsome breakwater against those waves of emotions that dash us

afterthought 

1. the first para .. well.. even between parents and children  the relationship needs work. not always forgiving I realise. some lines are crossed and then hard to cross back. 

agree with the 2nd part about not allowing our happiness to hang on others. 

I need to love unconditionally. hard. but can. 

and be fair. 

again hard but possible. 

baby girl

3am she climbs into my bed

snuggles up and twinges her arms around mine like a little koala on a tree

and I lie there still, till the koala sleeps