Rome and Egypt

Just reading when we were gods. About cleopatra. .here I encounter Rome of the past as I did in the volcano book. It is truly fascinating
.

I feel very much for Egypt.  It was rich and powerful and led by a powerful woman. But in the end all wealth and power went to a roman. 

Country enslaved for ages and then further vilified in Christianity. 

What happened? Just sore luck ?
God's plans?

Best friends leaving

My heart feels bereft. One by one they are all leaving. First malar.  Then sutha.  Now subair. 
I am happy for them. But sad for me . No two ways about it.

I don't know why I'm feeling it so much now. 

really every time I think about it I'm bothered. 

Yesterday I literally bawled. like a spoiled child that all my friends were leaving, that I can't make new friends that i don't want any more new friends. 

even now, as I think of what gift to get samir, I am choking up. 

earlier today I was scolding subair pig! haha not to him yet though I'm sure I will be. 

he gave me something when I got attached - he felt a little tug somewhere in him. that feeling that your friend is moving on. 

I still have that toy he gave  me he probably wont' remember it

it's not I call them all the time or anything just that... 

it was nice knowing we are all nearby. 

even recently we were planning to organise a malaysia sea food getaway with them and all you know

and sleep overs for samir here and ashwin there

all that ... ya. 

sucks. 

ashwin really likes samir. ashwin needs guy friends,. 

heavy heavy heart. 

selfish too I guess but I don't want to beat myself up for missing my friends. I think i'm allowed to. 

grr,

I love my kids, but my friends were my ticket to another parallel life I had beyond the kids
I am afraid with them all gone
my world will shrink back to my kids only
and that's no good we all know
they will each fly off pretty soon, and then what will I have left
my husband of course. thank goodness for the rock of man god has gifted me
my friends leaving, and he felt a pang too. just for that I love him
I cry and bawl and scream and he just holds me. for that I love him
he wakes up tirelessly to make milk for the baby, singing "mum mum for aishu". for that I love him.

So much on our minds

Saba quake. Singapore children and teachers amongst casualties.  Terrible right?

Heart breaking. 

And even erytime I crave a midnight snack... I'm struck by how kids in homes and shelters even in Singapore may have no chance whatsoever to get such a midnight snack.
I'm wracked by the fact that I could do do much more. That I feel so much but do do little. 

Writing progress

I finally posted my poems.
I have a good feeling about one or two of them but even of they don't win anything I'm proud of myself for having penned them .
I'm really looking forward to the poetry thing next April.  Will be friend every active participant there do chances if me getting feedback on poems is much higher.

I've also signed up for a writing mentorship course! 4 weeks of sustained writing and criticism. Need to have two stories completed.  I plan to work on boy and the witch and another kids story. Really must find time to revise both.

I'm wondering if I could 4un some workshop at the south zone symposium.  A new one in teaching writing what I feel may work.  Or... a segment on assessment in lit review run from ltlt or a follow up to the assessment one this year.

Am  going to try my prompted to write exercise with sashi from July onwards and track progress. Also the thought tapping exercise!

I love my country but some things irk me

Like jailing a woman for selling curry puffs to make ends meet while her husband is in jail. Seriously.