and work

year has come to an end
some sensations -kola veri song gets 9 million hits, featured in Time Magazine, Dhanush is invited by President of India to join him in welcoming Japanese PM!
power of the Internet and connectivity!
Reading some powerful books now - it is critical to empower women to engineer social growth and move countries out of the poverty zone - humanitarian issue looming large - I want to be part of the solution -however small
If dhanush was now to turn his attention to women being trafficked - time is ripe for such change! Indian PM has to take notice

catching up

I have SO much to write
It's december and my last post was in August. I've composed so many blogs in my head but haven't had a chance or the time to write, or bothered to write.
quick updates followed by a little more detailed blogs:
My son has come into this world! July 19 - guess I must have said this already
I noted at one point, in india, the 10 things I love about him
my daugher has said so many many things to astound me
I have had some insight on the nature of curiousity
I have an idea of something I could write - a back story for another story that I like
more later

my grandmother's story

okay here's the deal, in point form at least

1. grandmother married at 16 - supposed to marry kottaiyur husband, but jathagam said he would die at age 40, so her father didn't take up the match
irony- that man did get married, (to someone else) and his daughter was my mother's classmate, and through her my my mum found out that the man did indeed die at age 40, in an accident Ithink - must check that detail again!

2. grandmother is a very pampered daughter of a very rich family.

3. married my grandfather at age 16 - grandfather's family tricked grandmother's family into believing they were rich and well off etc

4. actually they were debt-ridden and just wanted to marry a rich girl to pay off their debts

5. so - ill treated my grandmother! made her get money from her mom

6. all supplies for my grandmother came from her brother and her mom

7. then split up... to be continued tomorrow!

writing

Today, God gave me a story to write and a started me on a course on writing! How amazing is that.
my mum shared the story of her mom - it was riveting - it has all the ingredients for an exciting, heart rending story - - I briefly mentioned it to my brother and he gave me a folder on creative writing!

now I have more options - I could consider writing articles for journals or magazines, before I go into writing my novel

I need to devote time to writing every day

I can write about anything - nothing is wasted writing

Keeping a journal is good - this blog serves as one too

angry birds

I am so stressed!
I am in an unbelieveable mood - I've been playing stupid angry birds the whole bloody day - crossed so many levels - it's really an obsession already - can't believe myself - I'm being such a bad mummy too - instead of spending time with my daughter I'm doing this kind of absolute nonsense.
I decided not to go spend time with my family under the pretext of wanting to finally complete my work - but again I got distracted
nvm, I'm back on track now yes? I hope. May have to burn the midnight oil but I will I will I will do i t- I must have something to show for my day athome today. shoudl have just called in sick instead of saying I'm working from home. I treated today likea sick day indeed - but how?
grr - well, back to work

GE 2011

What an election! - Watershed Election, Historical Election - these are the words bandied about when speaking about this election

And yet, in the wider world, it probably seems fairly straightforward. PAP has an astounding majority in international terms - 81 out of 87 seats. Dropped from 83 to 81. Not too bad you would think.

However, for us, this is big. Opposition has broken into the GRC system, 5 PAP members are now no longer in parliament, one of them our Foreign Minister, George Yeo, who also belongs to ASEAN and is a key player there.

So, there you are. Some voters in one tiny part of a tiny island managed to shake up the composition of an international organisation - ASEAN. How? through the clamour for change.

However, what does this power mean for us? Have we cast our votes wisely? 60% of the country voted for the PAP while 40% voted for the opposition. Again, I understand that in International terms, this is excellent - but for us - how close were we to losing our 'leaders?' Could we contemplate Low Thia Kiang as our PM, instead of PM Lee? There would have been no smooth transition - the whole nation would have been in complete shock at our power. Stock markets could have crashed. Any number of things could have happened.

They didn't. But they may in the near future if changes do not take place within the PAP.

MM Lee laments this is a generation that forgets. He is not quite right. This is possibly a generation that never knew enough to forget. Such a wonderful job has been done to bring us from third world scrap to first world class - this generation today is born in a first world. Their expectations are different. I hope this does not spell a rejuvenation of interest in Social Studies. If anything, it will be seen as a vain attempt at indoctrination and will lose PAP more votes. At the bottom of everything, a government, in an ideal world, exists to serve its people. Personally I don't know why people even do it - there seems very little in it I thought - but apparently the salaries are high:-) anyway, as I was saying, the government exists to serve its people. And the people have spoken. Things cannot continue in the current vein. if the government listens, it has to change. it cannot lament about the ungrateful young for now this young have the power.

What wonderful changes though have been wrought. People dare to speak their minds. Alternative proposals to solving pertinent problems are being discussed openly. In this climate, the everyman may have a say in how things turn out - this was something not expected in previous years under the PAP. The Election 2011 has given people back their voice, an awe for their power, and hopefully some interest to wield that power wisely and not rashly.

PAP has done wonders. No one can deny that. Now it's policies need a little tweaking and the revelation of a bit more heart. With that, PAP can continue running the country for years to come, I feel.

The leaders cannot bad mouth opposition members and expect the public to just believe them.

The voters expect gentlemanly behaviour from all their politicians.

I was politically engaged for the first time in 32 years. it feels good.

Saying Sorry

Is it difficult to say 'sorry'?
I've not really found it so. I say sorry often, and I mostly do mean it. Our PM says it.
My husband finds it very difficult. and I come to expect it, perhaps because I find I can say it easily enough.
I realize my helper finds it hard to say as well - when she says it, one senses she is not too happy.
My dad and mum say it easily enough, and I know they mean it, generally. (my mum does say it angrily sometimes!) My brother does notsay it easilty.
interesting to ruminate over this issue - there are situations which, after I've explained thoroughly, still doesn't elict an apology from my husband. Instead he says stupid things that don't mean anything, like, next time I won't do it - which is absolute crap because of course he'll do it again. or he just goes about explaining why he did what he did, believing that to suffice. but nothing, for me at least, works as well as a simple, sincere, I'm sorry. saying I'm sorry takes responsibility for the action that caused some hurt towards another, and that comes to mean something. it provides a means of moving on. everyone makes mistakes. but learning from them, apologizing, all this are part of it
so what do i do when I expect an apology and I don't get it?
I've told him explicity even to apologize. he does for that one instant most ungraciously. doesn't remember to do it the next time
so do I adjust my expectations. don't come to expect an apology? or assume that he is sorry just that he does not know how to express it? (but see, I don't believe he is sorry!)
grr - what does one do?
one thing I could do is to forgive even when the other person has not asked for forgiveness. just be the bigger person and let it go, be the bigger person and forgive for it sets me free. no point trying to win petty points in small arguments. just let it go, wash over - god takes so many injusttices in his stride, without expecting a sorry. I can learn too.
yes this seems to be the best solution for the moment.
Om shanthi shanthi shanthi he.

cried for 2 1/2 hours

does it matter?
I cried for 2 1/2 hours yesterday, in the bathroom by myself. Today my eyes teared on the way to work, they flooded a little at work too
do these matter?

last time I felt tears well up uncontrollably was when I broke up

grr

ah well - wanted to tell someone this - no one to tell it to, without arousing mountains of pity and some contempt too I'm thinking -weakling they'll be thinking in their heads - after all they all cope don't they.

inertia

Inertia - the reluctance, the inability, to start anything that needs to be done!
It besets us
It can be overcome
It just needs to be started
Step 1 - open the necessary emails
Step 2 - open the relevant attachments
Step 3 - read the documents
Step 4 - make the necessary changes

right - will start after my blog entry about letting go!