Sindhu Bhairavi

What a movie . So nuanced. Really don't get movies like this anymore. . Each time I watch it I feel different. I remember subair being disappointed they slept with each other. Such innocence.  Wonder how he feels now that we are older!

An affair with a married man can only end badly for the woman
He is likely to return to his wife
If not she'll be blamed for wrecking the marriage
So sad. Us shunned by society.
So very sad
Such a natural falling in love with each other.  She wanted to go through an abortion all by herself.  Shunned by her own mother
Her reaction to let him go - bit idealistic. I think the other girl rohini acted that part better in marupadiyum.  But she was a bot psycho there not so nuanced a performance as this.
Of the wife had let him go could have ended better for him and the girl
But wife poor thing , really hard situation .

On a other note the movie is quite brilliant in portraying the devastating effect of addiction  and withdrawal. He gets addicted to sindhu first. She becomes his muse. To forget her he takes to another addiction. Alcohol
His wife sees his fall and loves him so much she stands by him and tries to bring him back.
That is a powerful question.  Can you love someone so much to stand by them through addiction? Drugs drinks gambling . They show that love in this movie
Wonderful wonderful.
I agree with aatha that he sivakumar should have got an award too. Brilliant. Years later his son acts the effects of drug withdrawal brilliantly
Very very scary.

Samirs baby sis

She's here! Baby is here. But we are here. She's there. You know what I mean. Why why why. When I have sutha and malaria overseas it didn't feel like this. With subair and yas it's like a hole in my heart.  Now their baby is here but god knows when I'll see her. Probably next year only. It hurts. Really.

Dt

How can I help people ?
Test and prototype
Ask 5 whys to get to the Pain points to address
Ministry must look good with what we do
Change questions to zoom into what you need 

Sexy

Sexy is an attitude
Not just the way we dress or look or walk.
It's  the attitude

Holiday

2nd last day of the hols. We head back to Singapore tomorrow. It takes the ends of holidays to sink in to inspire me to write. Not that my writing is inspirational. It's just my thoughts.

It was a good holiday. Tiring but good.
Saw different sides to my kids. Feel like I will miss them when I get back to work.

We saw wild dolphins.  Twice! First time was on a cruise to see sea lions and we saw both playing and chasing each other. 2nd time was yesterday at the Swan river! Just one. Like it was saying bye to us and come back soon!

For me those were highlights. Dolphins sea lions in the wild.

I saw an underwater observatory. Wow. Saw life under the ocean.

Then saw waves crashing against albanys amazing shoreline. Breathtaking.

For the kids highlights were living on a farm feeding animals jumping on a trampoline feeding ducks outside the tent and bathing in the spa tub. 

Saro. . Just the driving. I think he liked the dolphins but I can't be sure. He's a little grumpy. Feels like a schoolmaster tasked to care for the class on a school trip

My hope my dream my infinite joy

How is it you have three children and marvel at them every day? 
They are so infinitely precious and unknowable somehow
I know they are mine yet i watch them like I can't believe I have the luck, the blessing, to have three precious beings grow up next to me supposedly in my care
My infinite unknowable joys
I love them Terribly.
I feel I don't know them truly
That I will never know them truly
They are mine and yet individuals
Mine and yet never wholly  mine
Not meant to be
Always separate and wonderful
Like I'm looking into a window and watching them grow, smile, cry,  watch joys light up their eyes, fears cloud their expressions
I yearn to hold them knowing they can't be held forever
I watch them and wonder, how will they grow up, what kind of beautiful, unique individuals will they grow to be
They will be my friends I hope
My hopes my loves my dreams my infinite joys
I feel it was the pain of not knowing if I will have kids at all that allows me to look at them like this. 

Always thanking god for the miracle of them. They were always meant to be.  

God blessed us with them by allowing us the privilege of caring for them. 

Such priceless gifts.

God of small things

So the story unfolds in beautiful delicious bits
Vivid real scription of air swirling down from the ceiling fan in a never ending potato peel.

Let me piece together the story.
's
Day1: before Sophie arrives
Stopped by the march. Baby humiliated.
Estha molested and terrified.

Day2:
Sophie arrives
Rahel plays with velutha
Velutha and ammu notice each other
Estha rows jam and thinks two thoughts.
They find the boat and get velutha to fix it up
Ammu dreams of the one handed man
She gets pissed off at all the attention over Margaret and Sophie
She meets him and they make love on the boat and start a romance that lasts for two weeks
That same day chacko sees comrade pillai and finds out that velutha is in the party. Males it clear he's okay with his untouchable caste.
Day 3 to day 14
In the afternoons the kids row and play in the history house.
Day 15
Velutha 's father tells mammachi. 
Mammachi and baby kochamma lock up ammu
Ammu screams unforgivable words at the kids
They row out in the rain to the history house.
Boat overturns
Sophie drowns
Kids go to history house. 
Velutha goes to the house gets scolded
Velutha goes to comrade pillai
Then he goes to the history house.
Sophie washes up.
Baby kochamma makes a police report.
Police go to the history house destroy velutha
That night baby kochamma manipulates kids to lie about velutha.
Next morning funeral. .
Ammu goes to the police station
Velutha dies
Family breaks apart.
Kids have seen brutality.
Mother has known love and betrayal.
Lives are destroyed. Totally. Wreaking havoc on the kids.
Mother turned and left into the black hole left by velutha 's death.  Leaving them alone unmoored in a dangerous world.
Life loved and over by 27 for ammu. By 7 for the kids.