Humility

So my story got pretty much torn apart.
Confusing
Illogical
World not believable. .makes me wonder if I should dump it
But I shall persevere.

Looks like I didn't get chosen

Sigh. Oh well. Looks like none of my works are making it to the publication of poems on singpowrimo. 

The giver

Having watched the giver I find things are quite unresolved.
So the past was bad in the excesses. War pain colour love.
The solution was drab lifeless colourless safe and same. Not z solution.
So no solution. 

The present

The present is dissolving right before our eyes.

If a character is very compelling he's very much alive for me. He's real for me.

So to write about ovid she read a lot of ovid read some of his contemporaries work to learn about the science a.d life of that time.
Then travelled. Where could he live? Walking distance from some monuments etc..

Watership Down

Classic for a reason. What a story. 
About leadership.
1. Think win win. Such a great suggestion he offered to general woundwort. Free movement between two Warrens. 

2. Praise strengths.  Sees strengths in everyone even the littlest.

3. Takes effort to cultivate partnerships and build trust. Like with the mouse and the bird.

4. Notices and observes and remembers.  The trip to the farm brought the dog out.

5. Truly innovative. Working with birds mice dogs

6. Trusts in intuition of others. Like fiver. 

7. Kind to the underdog.  No judgement.

8. Plans ahead. Warren needs does. 

9. Knows who to entrust with which job

10.

As a writer masterful. 
The good leader though not physically strongest.  The staunch dependable big guy. The story teller. The innovative one. The joker. The clairvoyant.  The returned veteran.  The loyal underling. 

Puts in place seeds of ideas that grow later in the book. Like floating on z plank to floating in a boat.  Knawing thru a rope to free the boat to gnawing thru the rope to free the dog.

Hbest part. We become the stuff of legends.  Possible the great rabbit lived.

Bye bye

Subair yasmin and samir left yesterday for new Zealand. 
I think I did my sobbing on two 0ccassions already I didn't cry yesterday. I felt detached. My coping mechanism probably.
Life does move on. It will it shall it must .

Kids had a lot of fun at the airport though!  Running playing making friends. We don't have that much space here in Singapore truly.  Airport space is good.

Heart guide me

Dearest god
Parenting is amazing but also mind boggling. .
It's bringing out the best and worst in me.
Like protecting kids wanting them to grow up well
Vs
Shouting at them threatening them hitting them
Very sad.
Don't want to lose control but I can't. 

He's too cute and too naughty .
He wanted fish yesterday so we went bought baked and ate it. Later my friends pointed out his wife is going to hate me for it. So I hadn't realised how I was spoiling him, after telling off my mum.
Today he wanted to stay in my mum's house. I didn't let him and bought him a toy instead. Was that the right thing to do?  At night he says heart wrenchingly. . I know I can't but I feel like staying in aayas house.

I had almost convinced myself he was OK here already but then saro ended up whacking him really hard for slamming a drawer on aishus fingers

Then he couldn't sleep even near 12 midnight coz he was  hungry. In a huff I said .... coz I was so close to falling asleep... aiyoh.  Come let's go. I'll make sure I stuff you with food every night! 

He got pretty upset. 1st. Why you say aiyoh.  Then I don't want to get my mouth stuffed with rice! 

Makes me laugh even when I want to scold him. I love him so much. Please guide me to bring him up well god!

A week of impending departures

And the heart is just a bit heavy.
Mum in law is leaving this evening .
Emily - a good friend is leaving on Thurs.
Subair yas - best friends - are leaving next week.
I was singing the song ..m maname oh maname... nee marividu.  !
Today not so heavy but yesterday yes.

The great disconnect

Hurtling towards the great disconnect. ..
Interconnecting worlds insularly bouncing off one another
Tiny satellites we are
Beaming to each other from phones but increasingly silent with each other in person
Case in point: daughter eating her bread while mum typing this!

Breathless feeling. 

Meditation and zen living so important now to keep track off the important rather than floating with currents constantly. 

The Eddies of Life!