Aleppo

They are bombing hospitals.
I don't know what to say to think. 
What do they hope to achieve by bombing hospitals???
What kind of people bomb hospitals and schools?
So far from what I know. .. Israelis.  Russians and the Syrian Government.  It's like the book mockingjay.  If we burn you burn. Fire is catching.
And never ending.
Why? Why would people want to do that?

Help me be centered

Help me
God
Be Confident and comfortable
In me😀

Ptm

Met Ashwins teachers today.
They are such lovely ladies whin care for him so genuinely. We feel sad to take him out of the school.
They say he's very bright very fast. So maybe he's not being challenged enough in the school
They say he needs courage. He's right but scared all the time. 
We need to help build his confidence.  Tell him he's good kind clever brave strong. And he will grow to it. I think we meed to nurture him .
Teacher said he may be too keen to please us that he's getting timid and scared. And that we should encourage the real ashwin to come out not the ashwin his parents want to see.
They seem to love him so..say he's well brought up. We need to be careful of how we label him think of him. He's got a bit of a genius inside him. Hope we are doing the right thing.  Changing his school.

Reflections on a conversations with Ashwin last night.

He’s so happy to be playing with a friend in the playground, Jovis. Said a few weeks ago he was really sad he had no friends in the playground, and prayed hard to God that he should find some friends. He prayed so long he even missed his favourite cartoon – Blaze and most of Paw Patrol too – and that evening when he went to the playground he met Jovis and they became friends at once. He asks the helper of Jovis why Jovis doesn’t come down more often!

Then he told me how sad he is that he is quite naughty. I had to reassure him how good he was and he wanted proof, so I had to quote specific incidents of him being nice to his sisters before he finally felt happy about it!

From these two what can we tell – he needs and wants friends – boys of his own age.

He is feeling pressured to be “good”. He thinks poorly of himself  - so sad to think like this before going to sleep. I hope he doesn’t feel like this too often! At least he told me and I was calm enough to try to convince him otherwise, reassure him. He’s a real sweet boy and we need to constantly reflect on how we parent him. Each of our children are totally and completely unique, with unique gifts to contribute.

His teachers gave us a card about his, saying she was returning us our child and that he is precious!

So true. So true.   

Trump has won

What I thought was the stuff of Sci fiction speculative fiction is reality today.
And I want to write. 
There is a world inside me waiting to burst out and light the world in some ways.
I want to create a new world filled with creatures and mythology. Like the rabbits book.like Harry potter.  And star wars.  And lord of the rings.

This world has birds . And girls who fight back. It's a world in a future where people jump at things.
In many ways our present seems like a an imaginable horror show. A world where lies can sway millions through Facebook and Twitter and snap chat. It's a olworld gone wild.

Update in the evening.
10000 protesters have been protesting 4th day into the results saying trump is NOT my president.
This s truly a country divided.
And Europe's far right have been celebrating his win.
It sounds more and more like a divide within the country mirrored  a  divide across the world.
I wonder what this portends. I wonder what I am witnessing.  How will the world play out.

Trump is president

It's the 10th of November. The day after Trump was elected. There are all kind of (jokes?) going around - 9/11 America was attacked. 11/9 America committed suicide.

My thoughts are in a whirl. I wish to write down now what I feel.

I feel we know so little of what happened to Americans not in the cities. I feel we know nothing of mid-west America and the people in the central and southern states. Only the edges were blue yesterday. The country was awash in red. for the republican party. for trump.

why am I speechless? this man has been openly predatory towards women. 11 women have testified that he sexually assaulted them exactly the way he boasts when he was an innocent 59 year old. where he just kisses attractive women, doesn't ask them. where because he is famous they let him do anything he wants with them. he can grab them by the pussy. This man is president of the USA, sanctioned by the majority of Americans. What we thought could never happen has happened.

what does this say? that the amount of unhappiness and frustration people have currently overrides their disgust at his way with women. Or, that it doesn't matter. who cares that he molests women. we can still vote him in. women don't matter. only white men do

he mocked a gold star parent. a soldier died for america and he mocks their parents. he says the mother didn't say anything because she wasn't allowed to. not because she was so grief stricken. this man is president.

I need to take a deep breath after each paragraph. but he is president. with a huge mandate. I'm not the only one stricken. world leaders everywhere are guarded. we will have to wait and see. he's going to review all trade agreements. he's going to put USA first.

and we shall wait and see.

His slogan is make America great again, make America rich again... what is unsaid is Make America White again!

America votes tomorrow and we leave tomorrow

Tomorrow, 8th Nov, America votes.
8 years ago, America made history and swore in their first Black president - he roused the crowd with his cries of "yes we can"
8 years ago, I watched that election live from my mother's house - I was expeccting Akshaya then.
Tomorrow...
America will either vote for their first female president or the most boorish example of what democracy can throw up
I feel - Clinton will win in a landslide.
I pray God protects her. and the millions of people who were so disillusioned they actually supported Trump.
I wish I can watch the elections live. I hope to do so on my phone I guess.

Tomorrow we are moving office too. As my dad would say - the whole building is going to feel lighter after we leave - the mountains we have thrown away, and all the boxes and boxes of stuff we have stacked to take away from here! 

Sashti

We had a lovely evening yesterday. Aishu came with me to drop ashwin at his tamil class. It was a Friday and it was also pooja for sashti. We dropped ashwin in class then prayed. She was so taken by this display if the saravana poigai with 6 baby murugans floating held by a string attached to shiva.  She used to get scared of the melam but I told her that's drum best and music for god to dance and she was so happy. Later we sat to pray and they started the music again and she started clapping.  She said she was clapping for muruganwho was dancing! !! So sweet and touching . I was think God would have been smiling to see this 2.5 year old clap for him.  So genuine.  No wonder my mum says god loves children.

While eating ashwin started coughing.  Immediately she told him kindly "drink water anna" and tried to pass him his bottle.  Only thing he turned his face towards st the same time and the bottle hit his eye! Haha oops. He yelled at her! But was mollified when I explained her good intention.
Then as we were leaving aishu fell down and ashwin immediately prayed "please god don't let there be blood". I'm so blessed to have these children Carr so much for each other. Gods blessings truly.

Packing

I just left office at 12.45am. This is definitely the latest I've ever stayed.
I have a while day meeting tomorrow. And I don't want to come in in the weekend. So just stayed and did it.
Only thing.. I haven't prepared for tomorrow yest! Git to mark 14 scripts!  When will I do it? Of I sleep by 1.30 I could wake up at 6.30. Take akamshaya to sch.  Then ashwin.  Then take bus to the school. How? Please god give me the strength Nd ability to do this. Please.

So i have 3 fill boxes and two half filled boxes. I have to clean up the drama cupboard and the brown table near my area. Take home the stuff and the brown cupboard

Sickened by King Henry the VIII

To me seems to be a horrible person.  He killed hos good friend, his wife , his trusted advisor... all at a whim.

He seemed to have cared only for himself and his lust. He really seems to treat women as mere objects.

Power corrupts.  Absolute power corrupts absolutely. So true in his case.
He breeds the worst behavior among his people. Encouraging treachery disloyalty. Backstabbing. The killing of innocent people. Only people who could avoid their conscience fully could possibly survive with him. He is napoleon and worse.