No End in Sight

As I write, people are dying
This is true always I suppose
But.. it seems harder now
Israel and Palestine
They have been at war for centuries, truly
but now.. today, I know a bit more and so I feel a bit more

Israel has killed children in their sleep, children in the park, children on the beach
How bloody is that?
Hamas is firing rockets relentlessly into Israel
Despite all the killing of children, Israel has been unable to stop the harmless rockets
I say harmless but they are tactical
They suggest power to hit back at Israel
So they are not harmless but quite powerful, even if they do not take lives as yet

What is all this?
How can it end?
Will it end?

1. Hamas is firing rockets to ask Israel to lift the blockade imposed on them. This blockade does not allow Gaza people to move freely or live independently or with dignity

2. Israel imposed the blockade because they do not want to allow Hamas to be supplied with ammunition for war and attack. But the blockade of course affects all people, not just Hamas

3. Was Hamas democratically elected? are they a terrorist group? are they freedom fighters? I don't know. Its just a term maybe.

4. So now, Israel is so close to wiping out the Palestine. They are not going to stop. They can face all the recrimination from the world for war crimes later on. No problems. Like Sri Lanka and the Tamil Tigers. They just went ahead and destroyed the LTT and all civilians in the way, to end the war between them. Now they can face justice for war crimes for ever. It will not matter. Those lives lost will not come back. Everything that has happened, has already happened.

5. Israel is not going to stop. If they stop and lift the blockade, after all this, of course, they can expect people to re-arm themselves and they have to brace themselves for attach after some time, as revenge for the 1300 lives lost in three weeks. That's just the beginning.

6. Hamas is not going to stop. If they do, Israel will come down harder on them, reduce them to living pathetically, even more pathetically than before. What kind of a life will that be?

7. So both will keep fighting until one is defeated

8. Palestine now cannot defeat Israel. So the fighting will go on until Palestine is no more, really.

9. Then what?

10. OR, the fighting will go on till Hamas is defeated and they surrender. Then what? Okay, life will be made miserable for some time. Then what? If they impose crazy laws that make living unbearable, Hamas or another group will just rise again. This will happen again. It happened in 2012, 2006, now it's 2014, it will happen again, 2016, or 17.. who knows. but it will happen again. People cannot live without dignity, without access to basic amenities, without a right to move around freely.

11. WW1 - how it ended led to WWII. Germany was made to bear full blame for every life lost, made to pay crippling war reparations, people left to feel ashamed to the core, and then angry and then like a wave, it rose again in WWII.

12. We cannot cripple people, even our enemies.

13. So now, tell me, how will this all end? 

Poems to submit

Home

When is a person not a person 

Devotion and desire 

Later on - the boy and the witch 

The poem for Devi? Change the names? No. After their baby then yes.

The poem I wrote after Kannas friend passed on? Not sure where it is even 

Something I wrote long ago when Appas friend passed on? 

When does a person stop being a person?

When does a person stop being a person? 

When people become  statistic

When one dead child becomes one of a hundred

When news of killings become 'old' news or the 'same' news

When the extraordinary becomes the ordinary 

When does a human stop being human? 

When we stop empathising

When we equate one person with the whole nation 

When one small child is seen as only the offspring of the enemy

When we see the enemy as less than human, we too become less than human 

- as Israel razes down Gaza and the world  watches... 

Love and in love

Whats the diff? Is there a diff? 

Yes...

Love - to love someone and be loved in return gives a feeling of solidness, safeness, cocooned in gods love

To be in love is to float in a feeling of headiness - light hearted absorbed every moment's intensity felt 10 times over...

One can't be in love all the time! 

One can love and be loved all the time 

To be in love is to love in a moment of heightened sensitivity / everything is felt more everthing means more 

To love and be loved is longer lasting less intense but with a safe and joyousness about it. 

So... We start by being in love, and move to being loved and loving.... That's a good way to go! 

But.... Not a one way street! Once in a while good to turn up the heat! Add that spice and be in love again! This mix wil keep the love going :) 

Guilt

Let's talk about the guilty mother guilty daughter syndrome shall we

I should strive to come home early when Saro is not in town regardless of what my mum says. I checked a few times I was assured I don't need to come early and then when I call I find our she wants to / needs to go home - to buy detergent and zip lock bags ! 

I offer solutions - buy them tomorrow in your way home - no - leave now - no- sigh. I feel useless and wretched. 

Now- to stop feeling that way. 

1. Her plans to go out came out Late She might be feeling trapped at my place and so going out after I'm home is a fun release for her. 

2. I just must make sure I'm home early because I must recognize she feels traped and needs to get the hell out. 

Yest they went out and came back after midnight. Today it's going to be the same. 

She's not capable of thinking beyond the minute. Seriously. 

So I should be prepared for that. 

Thoughts on poverty

Early this morning at 3 am ashwin started crying out a bit - I want bread Aatha- is there no more bread? - quite heart wrenching and this is when I do have bread! It's painful to hear your child ask for food - maybe that ths reason we rush to feed them even before they know they are hungry. 

It got me thinking - how many people in this world must really have that gut wrenching pain that they cannot feed their kids? Whose kids must be crying out- I'm hungry - and they are unable to feed them . How terribly terribly sad. 

Happy ;)

Just found a love poem my husband penned to me 11 years ago before we got married- his first and only love poem / to me anyway:)))) 

Super made my day!!!!!! 

A time to reflect

Yes. It's time to reflect. 

Nowadays , i pick up my phone and I'm reading on it all the time - real time news almost. I get the news before the papers. It's intoxicating and addictive. But also leaves almost no 'me' time to reflect at all. 

I'm having anger management issues again. How dangerous for young children to be left in the care of control freak parents- the robot won't open his eyes for medication! Whack the robot pour the whole bottle of med in his eye! 

Robot won't eat food scold and hot the robot saying it's for your own good I'm insisting you eat! 

Terrible right? For in our hands are kids not robots. I can't mould them - they aren't pliable clay . That frustrates . In quiet moments out of the heat I can think rationally. But in the moment- reason clouds over. And I wonder - is that why god took so long to give me kids? For I have deep within me a beast that needs to be tamed? 

I ply negative words on my daughter - saying. It's very bad she's not eating well. Not helpful. The concern is real and warranted but the delivery- phooey! 

So how? 

Deep breaths. 

Deep breaths 

Deep breaths 

Yoga. Meditate. Come back to the centre. Use the tapes Madhu have me. 

Ohm ohm ohm. Just 20 min a day for a refreshing start. 

Less anger less feeling of inadequacy. 

Yesterday I prayed that I should be present with my kids. And I was to some small extent.

Today I pray I'm present at work and present with  kids at home. 

Time on train- rather than rushing yo catch up on work or in other peoples lives- I can use to reflect. 

I need to give narayana mission things for ashwins birthday. And acres money for akshaya's birthday. 

Gaza and Palestine

Unbelievable genocide 

How to createa pr disaster

1. Listen to one complaint and remove a book from the shelves

2. When queried by the press and public, say the book is not pro-family

3. Then tell the world the books will be pulped as per regulations 

4. Then refuse to compromise

5. Then get minister of communications to establish that the role of the library is to reflect societal norms , not challenge them ( huh? Why is a library"s role one or the other anyway??? What happened to just be neutral????) stupidly define roles for the library 

6 after falsely narrowing role of library, the. Proceed to narrowly define societal norms- yes sir, societal norms = usual family= one man! one woman and their children!!!!!!!!!

Hurrah!

Now - how about single parent families, families with adopted children as well as other kinds of families?

Geeat - just ignore them they are a minority and a cumbersome problem

Well done minister and library 

Writers protest 

People protest 

Protest against:

1. Who defines societal norms?

2. Parents have a right to select books for kids - libraries don't censor

3. Stop alienating lgbt people and favoring a few narrow minded extremists 

Ridiculous 

It's a relief the library has agreed to move two of the offending books to the adults section- an easy compromise they could have been done ages ago without ego and ministers in the way.

One lovely lesson- do not underestimate the power of people protest even in Singapore. 

Of books and libraries and societal norms

I should title this how not to get entangled In a pr disaster really" 

So much so much this past week

My mind is full - I'm exhausted by the events of the past week and I'm not even directly involved.

1. Of books and libraries and societal norms

2. Of censorship 

3. Of gaza and Palestine and genocide 

4.Of planes and missile attacks and civilian casualties

5. Of social media and responsibility 

6. Of addiction to gadgets at expense of child rearing and building of relationships 

Each of these deliver an entry! And so I begin

What are book about?

A book about the adoption of abandoned girl babies has become about lesbian couples wanting to raise children

A book about two penguins bringing up an orphan chick has become about normalizing gay couples raising children 

We bring our lens to a book. It means for us what we want it to mean, what we choose it to mean. There is no one Inherebt 'meaning' to a book 

They are banning a book - pulping destroying a book - 

because it depicts a lesbian couple adopting a baby girl saying it is inappropriate for kids . 

I cry foul. 

How can a book that talks about the parents love for an adopted child be banned? About a child getting a chance at life be banned? Talk about reductivism.  Myopism. Has yaccob Ibrahim read the book? Dare he comment without reading? Public can be blind and stupid but our leaders  too? 

I know of adopted children who are upset their parents gave them up. Here is a book that shows the joy of the parents adopting the child. The adopted child need not feel abandoned but cherished. And they ban this book. 

I cry foul. 

I ask - have you read the book? Read then comment. 

Weight chart

July 2014 - 59 kg

Mudhal mariyathai

A movie with strong women and admirable heroes

Radha- Shivaji respects her because she doesn't kow tow to him coz she dares to speak up to him defy him sing yesapaatu to him- she treats him as an equal but with respect- in stark contrast to his wife of course

Interestingly his wife too is a strong woman! Rather than fall into the submissive type valorized by society, she refuses to see sivaji as her savior- ad one who marries her despite being spoilt goods- coz she doesn't accept that she is spoiled goods! For her then Shivaji is the trap her father set - she feels shackled and this is bitter but film vilifies her. I could do another voice - her voice!!!!! Embittered villie actually not so. 

One year sabbatical

How bout that? I could do a one year sabbatical! Maybe to an ib school teaching ib el and them transplanting ideas across. Is that secondment posting or sabbatical? Doing sabbatical overseas not practical - not when Akshaya is just starting primary Sch. 

Or I aim to start studying with scholarship- if that doesn't come thru I try for a sabbatical?