absence of the moon

can you see the absence of the moon

hospital

spent friday night at the hospital 

again

there is a kind of depressing inevitability about this a pattern 

we go to the clinic. they send us to a and e. we get admitted into the hospital. 

this happened in jan this year 

now in may

first hospital stay for the baby

I never stayed in the hospital as a kid

now all three of mine have been admitted. so has saro. 

has something changed drastically. or are my parents just much better parents than I am? probably the latter 

they parent with love 

me I dont know. 

legacies and creation

fathers glasses

a new planet is being born now

a rocky planet in the process of birthing 

530 light years distance from earth 

where light time and distance all mean something together 

like Neptune distance from the sun 

we use what we have to make sense of what we dont 

hair grass

the grass grows wild 

and unruly like my son's hair 

during the lockdown 

long enough to curl and tumble 

like the mop I love to ruffle 

let the grass grow wild 

invite bees and butterflies 

grasshoppers to flit between 

dancing lallang 

i dread the end 

when this lush paradise

will be 

cropped

manicured 

uniformly snipped

the wild grass tamed 

so no wild flowers can bud

in this staightjacketed greencity 

story of garuda

once long ago

there were two sisters

 vinata and kadru

xxxx had a thousand snakes as her sons. 

one day the two sisters were looking st this special white horse  Uchaishreva.   in the sky. (chariot horse? ) vinata said the tail was white. kadru said the tail was black . 

so they had a bet

whoever loses must seven the other forever 

ok (what an extreme bet!) 

that night kadru will tell her sons to attach themselves to the horse so the tail looks black. if not she will throw her sons into a fire! 

scared the sons did so. 

next day the two sisters went to look at the horse. the tails looked black 

oh no. 

now vinata became like Cinderella to kadra.  clean my room vinata. massage my feet. make me my drink. 

vinata did everything sister asked coz she lost the bet. 

then vinata has a son. a beautiful bird. garuda. garuda alsonhad to serve the snakes. mother serves mother. son serves sons. get this you fool. lafra would say get your son to fetch water for my sons. 

garuda didnt mind doing the work. but he was very upset to see his mother bullied by his aunt 

one day he will ask his cousins..what happened

 they will tell him the truth. but the bet was so long ago. cannot break it now. free my mother he asks the snakes. 

okay. but first

...you mist get us some of the nectar of immortality 

it's in the abode of indira. 

so garuda sets off

 he must get this nectar. he doesn't.think oh no if the snakes drink they may live forever.  he just wants to save his mother from this life of servitude. 

garuda has many adventures along the way. he says so.fishermen called the nishada. 

he also swallows a terrible elephant and a terrible tortoise who were fighting all the time and causing great disturbance to everyone 

In the process, he also saved a group of Valakhilya rishis falling upside down from the branches of a huge banyan tree. see picture.

 

During this time, he met his father Kashyapa who was then meditating in the woods and received his blessings 

.

finally he reached the palace of indira.

he fought a huge battle there defeating indira and the gods. 

there was huge column of fire that rose before him. 

garuda put it out

The nectar was guarded by a spinning wheel-like device intended to cut any intruder to pieces. Garuda assumed a miniature form and entered the device. He then came across two fiery snakes, whom he cut into pieces and successfully claimed the pot of elixir.

nowhere could ha e drank it himself. such prized treasure. but he takes it straight to the snakes. seeing thos vishnu is pleased. so selfless and righteous. he apprata before him and asks him what boons he wants. 

1. to be immortal and above him in his flag. ha so no need for the amirtha

then garuda says what boon can I give you. 

you be my vehicle. okay done. 

then garuda continues to fly toward his home. indira strikes him with a thunderbolt. but now garuda is immortal. so nothing happens. he tells indira you cannot hurt me. 

so indira becomes his friend instead an appeals to him dont give the nectar tot he snakes. 

he said I only told then I would bring it to them. you can take it back after that. 

indira says what do you want in return. make the snakes my food. t

he brings it. put it down on the grass. tells the snakes to bathe and come get it. and to free his mom . they free th mom and go to bathe.when they are gone indira takes it away the snakes see it's gone but try to lick what is left off the grass. the snakes cut they tongues in the process. 

then there were two snakes guarding the nectar. 

he ate the two snakes 

2020

2020 the year where everything slowed down 

and we finally had time for family that we had been yearning for and kept saying one day 

and we enjoyed in precuous snatches only 

suddenly we were there everyday

now there was time 

to admire wild flowers

listen to birdsong 

this is not the case for all of course 

but for many of us -a respite. 

a time when grass grew wild 

things were not nearly manicured or trimmed 

yet lovely in its wildness 

a feeling like you walk in to a music hall and its filled with sounds of a symphony and you know this is the only time you will hear this music played like this in this hall

and you feel blessed beyond words 

to have chanced upon such divinity 

you walk into a place and you find a space where you cannot tell where the leaves end and water begins

a mirage a game of illusion 

we built concrete 

nature paints her magic on it

and you see these trees with the leaves creeping up them like a stairway for fairy folk -calls to mind the magic faraway tree

stopped

and we found we could still live 

garden

thank you for blessing our garden 

so lovely to see new shoots new leaves 

reaching up to face the sky the sun 

such beauty in the fresh green leaves at our window

worries

With all this gratitude I also have worries of course 

Malar chief of my worries. She is due to have her baby anytime. She has had a hard week. No one there to help so she and Jeroen are on their own totally. I'm so grateful I have my parents to help with my kids. When I had to go to the hospital the kids stayed with my parents. Jeez i stayed with them myself!

She is alone there. And it's not been easy. Docs giving funny advice and all.really hope all is well. She must come out safe and sound with her baby safe and sound. Not sure if she has been in long labour now or what. She went in last night 4 cm dilated. That's not much. Wish she had gone in when she was 5 or 6 cm dilated. It can take a while to go from 4 to 10. 

But anxious right. Dont blame her. Sigh. Pray is all we can do. God please protect her. 

Next round of worry is for the workers. Not sure what state they are in. Our cases have not peaked. So that is worrying. More clusters emerging even outside the dorms

 Like in imh and old folks home and yishun . 

thankful

I'm thankful for many things this time

Covid has really given us a chance to stay home and focus on being with one another 

Slowing down is hard. 

Now I am glad it's not ending on monday but going on for another month. 

Grateful our plans for saro turned out well yesterday. 

Some new things we have tried these holidays 

Naan which kids love 

Tom yam soup also which everyone loved 

Some cauliflower and butter beans gravy which the kids liked 

Tomato based pasta sauce which I loved haha 

Shall try an apply pie soon as we have too many apples at home

Other than cooking, we are all taking great pleasure in our little garden that has grown in the past month. Ginger leaves curl up, it's so adorable. The chillie plant start out with one level then four then starts growing up tall

The bean leaves all lanky and tall head to the sun then grow up straight. 

Curry leaves are doing ok. 

 Am happy. 

Kids were drawing a lot at the start. Taken a break in the last week..

For awhile they were churning out cartoon drawings and other drawings with such ease. 

I've been reading to them..took a break last two days. Should get back to it

.

Piano playing. 

Lovely dont you think. 

Some cycling and walking. 

Like we are doing things that matter. 

Exercise art cooking reading gardening. It's like what life should be all about and not just during breaks! Forced breaks.