Monster mum reemerges

Yes she's back... unfortunately
I need to banish her again

Today I had a very sobering thought
Thank god I'm not a man. If I was I would have bullied my wife mercilessly just coz she's physically weaker than me
That shameful urge to drag people and slam them against things for not listening to me - it's scary and emerges when I'm mad at people closest to me and the most defenceless

Like today I was nice and pleasant all the way till 7.25 and then I became a demoness.  I literally dragged akshsua from room across the floor when she tripped to the kitchen to have her vitamins the shoved the spoon in so roughly and yelled at her

Monster or not???

God protect her please forgive me and let her enjoy her day in school despite such a rough start

Setting up the altar

Today i had the honour and pleasure of setting up our altar at home.samy cupboard

It was enjoyable meaningful gave me much to think about

Best thing about this move has been downsizing! So we can think deeply about what we need what we use and what dont

So today rather than just keep all that ive collected over the years i thought about which pics to put where which to put away so they are still with me just not outside

Vert satisfying though i know its not perfectly done

I thank god for giving me this chance to set up the altar with though - took me 2- 3 hours of uninterupted work! Happy now:)

Flashback friday

Found a treasure trove of pics in malars album! Riot of time over it in whatssap

How our lives have changed with email then facebook then whatssap!

Pongola pongal

Today was ponggal. Aishus first ponggal
By gods grace everything went well just that we finished dinner so late
I must remember ponggal takes 1.5 hour to make and then we pray anD the cooking before that takes at least three hours . So must  calculate backwards

But ok all ok in the end

Aish got her kicks from teasing the kolam out! She picked away my mums so akshsya did another and tgen at the end of the night she picked and even washed it away too! Shoukd have been warned by her silence hehe!

she has such a cheeky smile! Adorable doll! And shes learnt to say mum mum.

Long day though! Ponggak dinner at 9.30 bed by 10.30 aish threw up then bed 12.3sigh but you know wouldnt trade a second of this madness! 

ashatami, navami and tuesdays

I can't stand it
I don't understand it
I am tiny tiny tiny fighting things that I cannot undersand
I hate it

grandmother and mother in law could write a treatise on ashtami, navami and tuesdays, how you shouldn't start things on these days.
their definition of starting things is so annoyingly flexible and all encompassing
it even extends to washing dishes for an event

then I have my mother and husband, who have learnt to accept all things without question
they don't ask questions. they are eager to comply. not matter how ridiculous it sounds, like don't wash ponggal things on a tuesday coz its a tuesday or its astamai, or navami

so stupid
I don't understand
I can't ask those closest to me coz they don't understand. but they are happy to follow. what do I call them? sheep?

I could ask my grandmother and mother in law
thing is, I wouldn't understand their explanations either.

so... smile, shrug and pretend these three days don't exist.

who can't take it more

So who's the more affected?
the one who can't bear to leave things behind, or those who can't bear to take things with them
totally new perspective
maybe both in their own ways

everyday we witness history

History is unfolding around us every second
gunmen killed two cartoonists and 10 journalists for depicting the Prophet Muhamed.
As Alfian Sa'at asks, do they think God needs his puny creations to defend him? Rubbish.
God can take care of himself, and by golly, he's not so petty as to get offended by drawings.
but... gunmen kill cartoonists and actually have the effrontery to escape - these are not suicide bombers - they are just murderers.

A plane disappears into thin air - history

A civilian plane is shot down to death - history

Both Malaysian Airlines planes in the same year - tragedy

Rogue prime minster in Sri Lanka gets ousted - he killed the Tamil Tigers - war ending is good, but .. but but but... all that human rights violations... no answers to anything ...

People in Singapore stand up against the pulping of books - we care about books in singapore! yes. history.

Paternity leave in singapore - history

my sister in law tries to conceive a child but it turns out to be false? heart breaking

tragedy comes tall and short, large and small
waves hit us
waves
Tsunami 2004. Worst in the world. I lived so close to it. what the hell have I accomplished for having been chosen to survive it?

every second history is being made
what am I making?

Wretchedness

I don't like the wretchedness suggested by books and movies - that talk about staying together as. A couple or family as something so hard to so. Boring. No passion. Well duh! You gotta bring that passion in don't you! You gotta make the magic happen! 

Reading the zahir now. Annoying - the whole search for love even after marriage. 

naan merasalaiyitain

what a song!
it rocks and rocks and rocks  makes me want to keep moving in my seat beating rhythm
fabulous fabulous fabulous from a r rahman and that voice - anirudth! I love them both.

Hi 2015

Ok hope 2015 is a good year -  a much better year than the first two days! 

I got influenza. On New Year's Eve till today with bouts of shivering and feeling chill and plain miserable

Now aish and Ashwin both have fever:( 

My mum is so sick:( 

That's not good!!!

Praying for speedy healthy recovery for all! 

5 jan today. 

My legs feel leaden. They are a weight for me to lift

My eyes hurt to open