Nowadays , i pick up my phone and I'm reading on it all the time - real time news almost. I get the news before the papers. It's intoxicating and addictive. But also leaves almost no 'me' time to reflect at all.
I'm having anger management issues again. How dangerous for young children to be left in the care of control freak parents- the robot won't open his eyes for medication! Whack the robot pour the whole bottle of med in his eye!
Robot won't eat food scold and hot the robot saying it's for your own good I'm insisting you eat!
Terrible right? For in our hands are kids not robots. I can't mould them - they aren't pliable clay . That frustrates . In quiet moments out of the heat I can think rationally. But in the moment- reason clouds over. And I wonder - is that why god took so long to give me kids? For I have deep within me a beast that needs to be tamed?
I ply negative words on my daughter - saying. It's very bad she's not eating well. Not helpful. The concern is real and warranted but the delivery- phooey!
So how?
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths
Deep breaths
Yoga. Meditate. Come back to the centre. Use the tapes Madhu have me.
Ohm ohm ohm. Just 20 min a day for a refreshing start.
Less anger less feeling of inadequacy.
Yesterday I prayed that I should be present with my kids. And I was to some small extent.
Today I pray I'm present at work and present with kids at home.
Time on train- rather than rushing yo catch up on work or in other peoples lives- I can use to reflect.
I need to give narayana mission things for ashwins birthday. And acres money for akshaya's birthday.
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