My hope my dream my infinite joy

How is it you have three children and marvel at them every day? 
They are so infinitely precious and unknowable somehow
I know they are mine yet i watch them like I can't believe I have the luck, the blessing, to have three precious beings grow up next to me supposedly in my care
My infinite unknowable joys
I love them Terribly.
I feel I don't know them truly
That I will never know them truly
They are mine and yet individuals
Mine and yet never wholly  mine
Not meant to be
Always separate and wonderful
Like I'm looking into a window and watching them grow, smile, cry,  watch joys light up their eyes, fears cloud their expressions
I yearn to hold them knowing they can't be held forever
I watch them and wonder, how will they grow up, what kind of beautiful, unique individuals will they grow to be
They will be my friends I hope
My hopes my loves my dreams my infinite joys
I feel it was the pain of not knowing if I will have kids at all that allows me to look at them like this. 

Always thanking god for the miracle of them. They were always meant to be.  

God blessed us with them by allowing us the privilege of caring for them. 

Such priceless gifts.