The self indulgent poem draft 4

The Self-indulgent Poem

This poem is about me
or at least, my name
insofar as my name signifies "me".

My father named me Meenakshi
after my grandmother, as per tradition,
and called me Meena
after his beloved twin sister
his guardian angel.

I never answered to the name Meenu
it didn't sound like me at all.
In school I was Meena, mostly,
Except in Chemistry, when I was Meenkaski.
Bless Ms Tan, who would only use full names
even if she couldn't pronounce them.
I didn't mind. I sounded Russian.
My classmates called me Ski for short.
They still call me that.

Meena Akka or just Akka -
one of my favourites,
delightfully sounded first by a four-year old,
with his arms around my neck -
made me feel older, more responsible, loved.

To my closest friends,
I am Meens
such familiarity,
conveying love, laughter, safety.
Some in the group call me Meenatchi -
just to annoy me.

Aachi at the temple-
at 40 I finally feel ready.
It shows I belong
to my community

Aatha.

What I call my mother my kids now call me,
At one point I told my husband not to call me that,
striving to keep my identity
as mother and myself separate.

The other day,
I labelled a waterbottle at home
"Aatha"
First time ever-
it led to this poem!
I am Aatha.

The kids say it with love,
seeking shelter.
Sometimes they bite it out in exasperation.
They call me other things-
Mumma, Mummy Bear, Mummy Cat-
I turn to all these names too.

Mdm Meenakshi Palaniappan, AD
That's me at work.
Some say it with unnecessary deference
It sounds foreign to me still

Mostly I am called Meena
except in writing class,
where I am Meenakshi.
I love it.
Meenakshi,  calls to mind myself as a writer

So what's in a name?
Different names for different seasons
I will grow into more names, surely.