Reflection

Okay

How can one odd comment about not breaking an umbrella make me put up my guard against my husband who is just back from the hospital?

Something is going on. With me. Not him .

If I let small things hurt me, I am taking myself too seriously.

If I love myself a comment like that wont hurt me

I know all this theoretically.  Yet. I am afraid of approaching him. Of letting my guard down. Of being snapped at.
How can I be like this.

It's TRUE I'm not letting him be himself. He cant be on eggshells around me all the time. That's no way to live.

But I dont know what I can do about it.
Actually maybe I do.
Yoga.  Meditation. Prayer.
These can help me rise above the daily mundane grind and see myself as part of something larger. And my role as giver and protector and not victim.  I will know my place and not let it myself bogges down.
Questions. Have I done right. Have I done enough. I suck. I'm not a good mum wife person
Anyone would love saro
No one would be able to live with me
My mess

These are the negative thoughts in my head
Doing no one any good.
Got to meditate and kick these things out if the window.