So hard or too easy

So hard to concentrate or too easily distracted
Which is it?

It's the time of the year national day
And I am usually very patriotic
But this year it feels ... bitter sweet
A sense of moving on
Yet anxiety lines the horizon

I feel so lonely tonight
Wish sutha or sham or malar or kannan or subair were around
For me to meet with them
For them to calm me down

Distraught and distracted
Wondering about my place in my own country
I could cry
But why should I
All we have is some borrowed space on this precious earth for a micro second of time in the massive tapestry we are part of
And we shouldn't take ourselves
So seriously

Am also incredibly touched
By the amount of noise this is
generating by so many Chinese
Maybe I move in a privileged circle
Of writer fb friends
But still

I take offense at the Gov letting go  of the corporation and chasing after the individual
How can an individual win against a state here in sg
It defies belief
But if he thought we'd nod our heads like so many sheep or cows
He's got it wrong
That bulldog of the pap
He can't shut us up with the strength of his voice the size of his xxx
Too many are asking questions.

By silencing one minority voice they silence whole lives
Cowards