relationships

my dad started tearing up the other day thinking of kanna. 

I wish he would call them more often 

it's so one sided.

they miss him so much 

he is just fine. no issues. 

what do I do in the middle? 

I have to try right. he doesn't even know they are hurting.  this is not even about deepa.  just him 

things that matter to them don't matter to him

like it's been 4 years since they went to his house. he hasn't called them over. doesn't realise he should. or not should but that it's a decent thing to do? that these things matter. 

and no matter how much I do, I can't make up for that gap he is leaving. I can and should keep pouring in that love.  cannot make up but important. 

last year I got that diary done for them to let them know how much they mean to so many people. it was good. but doesn't make up for one person's love and attention they are craving 

sigh. 

but time to put into place what they say. can't change others. only themselves. 

I can't figure him out. he is kind. he keeps in touch with a whole lot of people. like he talks to annamalai and arun and periyappa more often than my parents. 

think it's not he doesn't care. he's hurting a lot inside but not dealing with it. and when he doesn't think about it he is not bothered  by it. escapist. 

he was always one to hold grudges. 4 years or more now already. sigh. 

they have so much love to give.  its his loss but he does not realise it