Friday, October 21, 2022

who am i

the good thing about my lonlineness now is that I'm reaching towards the Bhagavad-Gita 

I feel my souls purpose was to bring to earth three godly children, bring them up, and be a source of support for my parents. who are very independent and whom I need more than they need me but who are such beautiful souls with no expectations that they are happy with whatever little I give them

I suspect my dad knows I'm unhappy. but he will also just want us to work it out. 

I don't feel like complaining. I have nothing to complain about. darling kids. gems of parents. Good helper. Good job.  Good friends. Good home. stable.
 psychologically safe. Good man for a husband though not particularly present

that's the only thing. 
I shouldn't be wanting everything. 
I wish I wouldn't sound bitter about him not being around
sometimes I feel like a single parent and he is a bonus gift when he is around 
but it's supposedly just for a year. out of which there are now only 4 months left.

he has his karma. his guna.  we are a small part . 
I have mine. for which my family is a large part I want to own 

my son needs such love. he is a beautiful beautiful bright soul and the one thing I could do is support him so he can become whom he wants

and I can get a dog. a rescue dog. I won't be discussing with much. I shall just decide and take him or her own myself next year. like parvathy created a son for herself I'll get a dog for myself. sons or daughters aren't mine. just souls put together for a season for us to help the other
same with the dog I realise. 


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