and I have no joy
only dread of what the morrow brings
I have one sick child
and if anything happens to her
I'll want to die
but won't be able to
coz I have 2 other kids
such dark thoughts
I don't like her hand on my knee when i drive
isn't that awful
and for one awful second
I asked myself why I had 2 more kids
then I wouldn't have to care about then I could just care about her
such lousy lousy thoughts
I know I don't mean them
but I also want to note that I thought them for a stupid fleeting second
what this is doing to me
I am fragile
liable to crumble anytime
and when u do
what is left
and i realise
I had better grasp every moment that comes .my way
for I can high and happy as never before
and come crashing down the next second
like there's a spiteful vengeful god who is keeping watch .ready to pull the rug from me anytime I dare be happy to much too long
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