losing the romance

yup
I think we are losing our romance
we need to work to get it back
every conversation is now like walking ino a battlefield
every statement made viewed with suspicion
the original intent behind the statement lost on the listener
one party is excited about the prospect of a free art trial class
the other is skeptical, insistent in thinking that all organisations are out to make money only
not thatI think they are philanthropic!
but the point I was focussing on was the art trial class and how fun it would be to see her engaged in creating something
I love seeing her creative expressions at home
maybe it's upbringing
he never had exposure to all this
and maybe he thinks, hey he turned out fine
I was given exposure in all this and I enjoyed it
and I want my daughter to enjoy it as well
these classes I take her to are to give her opportunities to explore new ways of experiencing the world
her parents -us - do not know everything you know
anyway
then I tell him about this and that that I saw and his first reaction is sorry I cant make it
not even a 'I would have like to have come with you'
I sense a serious lack of support here you know
ever since he came back from america
it's like he's doing his own things
and I do mine and baby's
more and more
I'm coming to the conclusion
that that's the way it's going to be
me and her, and then him when he feels like it
yesterday was a classic case in point
remember once I called him cheap
he proved it again yesterday
yesterday he stayed in the FREE carpark of the botanical gardens for 3 hours
because he didn't want to pay for the parking at tanglin mall where his daughter was going for music classes and having breakfast
well
his bloody loss
I had a personal chauffeur - which I could well do without
not sure how to proceed
do I 'drag' him along for future exposure classes of hers
or just screw him and plan for it all myself, without even involving him?
sat, I took her for a medical appt then to her cousin's place to play, while he prepared himself for his trip to malaysia
then he wentn to malaysia while I took her groceryshopping and then visiting with my mum
sunday, you know what happened in the morning -
he was my chaueffer
evening he slept while I gave her dinner and took her to her aunt's house to deliver some food that he heroically offered to buy for them
12 - 4 he was awake but did nothing, nor did he even think of doing anything for her - did not put away her things, did not prepare food for the next day , nothing,
just sat up and mulled over the fact that he was awake and still jetlagged
today I tell him about art class, not an iota of interest. just a .. I saw that. yes must see.
then I tell him about a uni fair and he says you can take akshaya and go - I can't come you know what!
urgh.
I had to tell him I was not inviting him but just wanted to enquire if he needed the car
that sounds very cold
but I was doing it to get back some of pride lost in the way I had to call him 4 times today
so from today onwards- I will NOT call him unless he calls.
I will let himtake the lead in things
I will NOT expect him to be excited about taking Akshaya for any classes nor expect him to want to come
I will NOT ask him to come for anything, in fact, but make plans for things and just carry them out, myself.
I will assume he is in US and that its baby and me alone
anything he does - well, it's just bonus.
he's just averse to things he thinks are catering for westerners, whom he thinks are being cheated left right centre by thieving shopkeepers.
sigh.
today he's going for dinner
friday he's going for a movie
none of it he cared to ask my opinion. he informs me.