Monday, December 5, 2022

I wish I hadn't v2

I wish I hadn't 
made him cower in a corner
from the poison-tipped barbs
of my words, wishing for a shield 
against the torrent that
pinned him to the wall.

The red mist lifts, 
but the shame lingers 
like slime after a snail, 
sticky, off-colour.

I am shaken.
I made a 10-year old quake,
stutter, stammer, 
ready to admit to anything 
to avoid attack,
fearful
that errant behaviour
of the mildest degree
could push his mother over.

He will wonder forever 
how he should waltz 
avoidance 
with her, around her.

He loves her 
mostly,
like when she cuddles him,
but sometimes
he lights a match unknowingly 
that starts an inferno

and maybe he would rather 
retreat beneath his shell 
than ever do math
with her again.


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