Sunday, December 4, 2022

I wish I hadnt

I wish I hadn't 
made him cower in a corner
cringing from the barbs of my words,
wishing for a shield 
against the torrent that
pinned him to the wall 

The red mist lifts, 
but the shame lingers like slime
sticky and off colour

I am shaken
that I made a 10 year old quake 
stutter and stammer 
ready to say anything to avoid attack,
confused, fearful
that errant behaviour
of the mildest degree
could push his mother over 
and make him wonder forever 
about how he should  dance 
the waltz of  avoidance 
with her, around her,
away from her.

He loved her 
mostly,
when she cuddled and massaged him
but
sometimes he lights a match 
that starts an inferno,
unknowingly, ,

and maybe he would rather 
retreat beneath his shell 
than ever do math
with her again.



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