14 years later

14 years later she's back

only this time I'm not crying

my previous papers I always had co writers. Jeff. Rani. 

now it's supposed to be py and me. but it's been mostly me. now she has come in to help a lot. 

still. mostly me. and I hear how crappy and unfocussed my writing is. I've spent hours. nights. managing a truck load of things. following samples of past papers. and still. 

but she is razor sharp 

.and I need people like this

if because of her feedback my writing improves that can only be a good thing right 

so I'll go do it.  i won't rush. 

I'll aks myself again and again what am I saying here? 

I do have imposter syndrome. like what am I doing here

i should just quit. 

but it's late. I'm so tired. I value a boss who tells me personally how I can and must do better.  I will grow. 

but God please help me.