firsts

We never forget our first deaths

The first cousin I lost, at 13. 

I even had a minor crush on him 

so it was the loss of first puppy love too

brutally brutally taken away

in a freak accident 

I started wondering about death after that. 

Would I die when I cross a road? 

I freaked friends out

asking if they'd miss me if I died

My first grandfather I lost at 25. 

I lost a grandmother earlier but... 

I hadn't known her you know. 

I grew up with my grandfather. 

He was a friend, a source of support.

I learnt how to love a father 

watching my dad with him. 

His reassuring smile our solace

everytime we ran into trouble,

I still miss him

And now my first friend

45 is not an age to lose a friend

I can only recall 

our last text messages last lunches

I never dreamt they would be the last anything 

now her smile her cheekiness 

her love of her children,

her heart for others

...

they aren't gone,

but 

they can only live in memory 

as we all learn, 

grow around the gap,

she's left

Farewell my dear roommate

Nasrath Hassan Begum 

Thank you for all the jokes, laughter, love

The sky is a dimmer tonight. 

I'll miss you. 

my roommate. 

cancer.