heavy

safe enough to be sad 

thats what she wants 

not the sheer exhaustion of appearing happy 

she ( another she) told me how badly brought up I was how badly I was bringing up my kids 

remind me never to share any more videos and pics of kids to her ok. for what she will only talk about how skinny they are and how useless my cooking is

remind me also never to show her any cooking I've done

everything I show her is fodder for her withering criticism

she said I'm luck to have found saro who puts up my ineptitude. can you believe the gall of that

she thinks she brought up the kids so well 

she let him get the stupid virus that now affects akshaya ok. she killed one of her own babies. 

and her cooking makes me sick. but she talks so much like she knows every damn thing perfectly. 

I'll never visit her again. If I do will keep to myself. no fake jolliness.  the more I praise her cooking the more she sees reason to fault mine and ours at home. it's exhausting. 

she doesn't prepare enough food and then thinks its so delicious that all the food finished. doesn't get that we she big eaters. 

I'm disgusted and I was trying to be so sympathetic towards her. 

need to let it go

thats all she knows.

and her intentions are good

she believes she will die without listing my many faults so made it a point to let me know haha

Well now she can die in peace. she has said all she needs to.

still. it does come from a place of love. 

just misguided 

sigh

as long as I am true to myself I have nothing to fear or gain from her praise or reproach 

it's just noise

I just have to be strong enough in my self knowledge. I do have many moments of self doubt and self reproach. 

I will not be extending any love to them beyond the call of duty