Thursday, January 15, 2026

bereavment 3

Prayers today for the departed soul 

We sit in the hall
Her photo garlanded,
she is smiling, natural
Fruits and flower are laid out for her
Incense fills the air
The centre of attention, 
she must be happy where she is

No easy words 
for this grandmother 
who evokes such different feelings 
in different people

Maybe she is all and more 
of the responses of those 
who mourn her, miss her, 
feel secret relief

She loved to pray, 
thought of God at all times

before and after ungodly words she spewed 
that tore through skin muscle ligament veins 
to the very soul of those she lived with 

She always had a smiling face 
to welcome people  

but sat grim at home to greet family 
ready to crush them beneath her feet

She'd wish good things for loved ones overseas, 
write in her book all their names everyday, 
so devout, so holy

then fill the air with sulphrous words, 
curse the ones she lived with 
for lacking consideration for her grace, 

She'd never fail to have a cup of tea ready for one grandchild

then berate the other 
for not offering her any food
telltale, and watch blows rain upon him

The vulnerable ones in her shadow,
bore the brunt of the weight 
of the cloak of decency 
she shed upon entering home,
the dreaded battlefield 
where she shredded the family 
as commander in chief, 
a heavy presence
waiting to be waited on
only ever unhappy and 
and ever ready to show it. 

She could only feel great 
by thumbing others down,
but ever strategic 
she showed this side to sum total three
who'd never be believed, 
who would have to bear the taunt
that they must have behaved heinously
to provoke a saint,
the self she showed the world

So how do we mourn this being,
angel to the world
witch to the few,
compounded by the good death
she was granted:
speedy,
almost painless,
surrounded by loved ones, 
(who actually loved her 
for she was divine to these folk
whom she was visiting), 
granted a beautiful service,
air filled with prayer,
hallowed words that ring hollow
to the three who had quivered under her wrath,
wondering 
if something was wrong with them?  

Maybe, all her prayers did help her
even if her words and actions cut

Maybe, God looking out for the three,
taking her away when she was away,
so they could do their duty 
more guest than host,
lifting a burden off their bent backs
freeing them after 15 years

Maybe they were her safe space 
to be her true self,
and better them than the world

There is hope
she is happy where she is now, 
the three need feel no guilt, 
just acceptance 
that angels are devils too with some,
and know they have permission to feel mixed at her passing, 
that it is okay to sigh relief 
her ominous presence is lifted 
from their home forever

Unburdened,
maybe 
they can breathe, 
find themselves again

There is hope

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