discomfort

yesterday I got a shock to see s talking to r. he has grown chubby just in the face. I like his wife very much though and feel comfortable with her. maybe he feels comfortable with s too. I kept trying to keep away from him. this is the longest I've spent in the same space as him in nearly 2 decades. 

and a wants to meet up! urgh that just feels disloyal coz of how he makes life difficult for s. again I'm very comfortable with his wife! I shall find ways to avoid that meeting. shouldn't be difficult.  its been so hard to meet up with people I actually do want to!