crossing the street

I'm at a junction 

I need to cross the road.

the light is red 

but the road is clear

at least to my right 

I cross to the middle

the light is still red

but now cars are streaming past

from my left. 

there are gaps

but I'm not sure if I will make it 

if I walk across. 

I play out a scenario as I stand there

poised to dash,

if I were to just strike across the road now

in red light with cars streaming by 

whom would I affect ? 

I may get hit

and I would affect myself of course

also my family, who would have to cope with me, or my passing 

but I would also affect the driver of the car which hits me

scarring him or her for life possibly 

and his or her family and colleagues and community

and then also those who witness such an act

they would be emotionally scarred

so I dig in my heels

and wait 

for the light to turn green.